All for a Bottle of Soy Sauce
by Syncogon
Summary: The five Heroes still don't know that Doctor Zhai has been taken, but he may be close to returning... Is it really this difficult to get a bottle of soy sauce? Yes, yes it is. 开心宝贝之开心星星球


**A/N: This is probably the longest thing I've ever written, and even then it's really short... oh well. Anyway, this takes place during the fifth season. Several years back, when Planet Hui was fighting Planet Xing, Hui developed a specific type of virus. It would stay dormant in an infected person's body until it was activated, where the infected would turn and obey and fight for Hui... Doctor Zhai was one of the victims, but the five Heroes have yet to discover that...**

* * *

(Planet Xing)

Hua sighed as he walked along the street. "I can't believe Tian wanted me, the all-important main character, to get a bottle of soy sauce..." He studied the empty bottle that she had given him as a reference. "And it's Nan brand she wants, isn't that relatively rare?"

Xiao appeared next to him. "This soy sauce-"

"-Tian-"

"-wants to give to Doctor-"

"-because he loves eating it," Xiao and three of his clones said, walking in a square around Hua.

"Well, since it's for Doctor..." Hua said, "even if the factory shuts down, even if they stop making this soy sauce, it won't be a problem for me!"

* * *

(soon after)

A cold wind blew by and the empty bottle fell from Hua's hand. "Whaaat?! This factory shut down and they stopped making this soy sauce?!" A dark cloud rained on him as he sobbed on the ground. "What will we do..."

He then got an evil look on his face. "We can buy some other brand as a substitute! Girls are always easy to fool..."

Suddenly, they noticed a man crying on the road. "I just tried to trick Tian, and she forced me to eat the food she made ten days ago!" He then vomited on the ground.

"Ah..." Hua said nervously. "Don't worry, even if we didn't get it, we can just cheer her up about it, convince her it's alright!"

And then, they noticed another person crying on the road. "I tried to cheer her up, and she rewarded me with the food she made today!" He clutched his stomach, convulsed, and died.

The two Heroes glanced at each other. "Well, what will we do?" asked Xiao after a pause.

"I guess we'll just have to go to the original production place then, wherever that is."

Xiao picked up the bottle and, after a moment, said, "Planet Hui."

"Wh- what?!"

A few moments later, Xiao was dragging Hua onto the flying train.

"I don't want to go to that awful place where they think my good looks are ugly!"

* * *

(Nan Soy Sauce Production Headquarters, Planet Hui)

"Doctor Black," said the projection of Commander. "What are you doing on Planet Hui?"

Ignoring- or avoiding?- the question, Doctor said, "I have important results to show you. Please have a look," and he held out an object.

"Soy sauce?"

"Wrong. This is something I created, a Target-Lock . It can change the path of any thrown or launched object so that it will hit the bottle. And because this is a dangerous object, I also created a remote control for it, so you can control it from a distance."

"And this is the remote control?" Commander asked, pointing at a bottle of soy sauce sitting on the desk.

"Wrong. That's a real bottle of soy sauce. _This,"_ he took a different bottle from the helper-robot, "is the remote control." It was identical to the Target-Lock, the only difference being the label- the controller's was yellow, while the Target-Lock's was purple.

Doctor pushed the cork of the controller to activate the Target-Lock, and then tossed a knife into the air. It spun around, and then flew at the Target-Lock, embedding the tip in the cork.

Commander was impressed, no doubt, but had to ask the obvious question: "Why is it all soy sauce?"

Doctor shrugged. "Why not? It tastes good."

"...At any rate, I've sent Big Guai and Little Guai to come and get it, so be prepared."

* * *

(later)

There was the sound of the door buzzer.

"I'm busy right now," said Doctor to his helper-robot. "If it's Big Guai and Little Guai, give them the Target-Lock."

The robot, after a quick scan of the faces it knew, said, [Persons Big Guai and Little Guai not known.]

"This..." Doctor thought for a moment, then gave an _extremely_ detailed description. "Big Guai has pineapple hair and darkish skin, and Little Guai is wearing a helmet."

[Registered], said the robot, and picked up the bottle and left.

It was indeed Big Guai and Little Guai who were waiting outside. After comparing their faces to the descriptions given, it gave them the bottle.

"This-" began Big Guai, but the door had already slammed in their faces.

"Alrighty then..." he muttered, and the two walked on.

Inside, the robot reported that it had given the Target-Lock and was just about to do something else when Doctor noticed the second bottle sitting on the desk.

"Shoot! They didn't take the controller! Go give it to them right now!"

[Yes], said the robot. It rolled to the door... and came face-to-face with Hua and Xiao.

Of course, the robot didn't know that. It looked at Hua's darkish skin and pineapple hair, and Xiao's helmet, and handed the bottle to them before slamming the door again.

"Hey! We haven't even paid yet!" shouted Hua.

There was no response.

* * *

(Restaurant Hui)

Big Guai and Little Guai were were walking along when Little Guai's stomach growled. "General," he said, "I'm hungry."

"Everything went smoothly this time, so let's celebrate here," Big Guai replied, pointing to the restaurant they were in front of. "Before, we were only able to watch people eat from outside. Now..."

"Now we can actually eat inside?"

"Now we can look from inside!"

* * *

(several minutes later)

"I told you, getting a bottle of soy sauce is easy," said Hua as he and Xiao walked into, coincidentally, the same restaurant that Big and Little Guai were currently at. "Now, we can eat a good meal to congratulate ourselves."

After their dumplings arrived, Hua studied the soy sauce. "This sauce is so valuable, but how does it actually taste?" He considered for a moment, then decided, "Let's just try it."

He picked up the bottle and pulled at the cork. It didn't come off.

"What? How come this is so difficult to open?" And the epic battle to open the bottle began.

At some point, the Target-Lock was activated- bad news for Big Guai, who was holding it.

Over the course of a single minute, Big Guai was hit by a sharp dart, a cup of water, a fork, a pan of spaghetti, a bottle of sesame oil, a fishbowl, a bottle of vinegar, and a drill. He collapsed on the table, and then, to add insult to injury, was hit on the head with a flowerpot.

Hua, still trying to open the bottle, remained oblivious to it all as Xiao watched on.

* * *

(Missile Launching Area, Planet Hui)

"Missile test launch: begin!"

Hundreds of missiles were launched, their course set for a safe target in a remote area. However, with the Target-Lock activated, the missiles' target changed.

* * *

(back at the restaurant)

Little Guai, back from the bathroom, was surprised at Big Guai's state. "What happened?" he asked.

"I've been hit by so many objects...Today was a horrible day." And next to Big Guai were a pile of said objects, including a club, a toilet plunger, a chainsaw, and several knives.

"Hey, don't feel bad, that's nothing," said Little Guai. "Getting hit by a missile, now that would be bad." And just as he said that, there was the sound of an explosion.

"Special report," said Planet Hui's most well known reporter. "A missile test launch failed, and hundreds of missiles are now flying toward the city!" There were screams and people running in the background, and the reporter herself barely missed getting hit by a missile.

There was chaos. Buildings were cracking, and people were running everywhere. The two Heroes immediately raced to help.

"Hey, it's Hua and Xiao!" said Little Guai.

"We have to get out of here first."

* * *

Of course, like most things, it was easier said than done. Especially since Big Guai was still carrying the Target-Lock.

After a rather unfortunate encounter with a lovestruck gorilla, Big and Little Guai finally managed to hide behind some trash cans for some peace.

"This was a horrible day! Everything's been chasing me!" Big Guai shouted.

"Don't worry, General," said Little Guai. "As long as we can dodge the missiles-" and they were promptly struck by one.

"...then we'll be fine..."

"Even the missiles are chasing me!" Big Guai said, then noticed the bottle of soy sauce still in his hand. "The Target-Lock was activated?!"

* * *

(Nan Soy Sauce Production Headquarters, Planet Hui)

"What?!" exclaimed Doctor. "The Target-Lock was activated? Then turn it off with the controller!"

"Controller?" panicked Big Guai. "What controller? There was a controller? I didn't get it!" And the communication channel shut off.

"Then who has the controller?" Doctor typed in some commands and pulled up an image.

* * *

Hua sneezed. "Who knew that getting a bottle of soy sauce was this annoying? If I ever catch the idiot who made this, I'll never forgive him!"

Noticing a missile heading his way, he quickly shouted, "Magnet Shock!" Waves of energy shot out of his hand to stop the missile, but he couldn't keep it up, especially with only one hand.

And then _another_ missile flew straight at him. Before he had time to do anything, however, a shot of red energy blasted it apart, as well as the missile Hua was currently deflecting.

Xiao landed on the ground in front of him. "Drop the bottle! You can't block with only one hand!" he shouted.

"But... this is Doctor's favorite soy sauce!"

* * *

Hiding behind a rock and watching it all, Big Guai said, "Too risky, we can only throw it!" He hurled the bottle of soy sauce at Hua.

* * *

Hua, with his amazing reflexes, caught the bottle. "Who threw this?" he demanded. But then, he got a good look at what it was. "Another bottle of soy sauce! My luck is amazing!" He barely had time out of the way of the next missile, and rolled on the ground until he could get up.

"You won't be able to fight the missiles if you're holding those bottles! Just drop them!" Xiao repeated.

"I can't!"

Xiao glared at him. "Idiot," he said, before turning back to the missiles.

Hua looked at the two bottles, then laid them on a piece of cloth. "Doctor is away, and we can't even get him a bottle of soy sauce?" He wrapped up the bottles and tied it around his back. "That would just be too pathetic!"

He leapt into the air and, using his Magnet Shock, directed two groups of missiles into each other. While this did destroy a sizable number of them, the resulting explosion blasted the cloth off of his back and the two bottles fell toward the ground. And still, there were more.

"No!" Hua twisted and made a dive for the bottles. Xiao was falling next to him, still firing red bolts at the missiles.

But there were just too many, and they were coming too quickly. Closer and closer...

* * *

Doctor (Black? Or was it Zhai who showed in this moment?) couldn't watch it anymore. He slammed the keyboard as hard as he could with his fists.

_Stopping..._

* * *

The two bottles of soy sauce exploded in midair, landing on the ground in a pile of shattered glass and liquid. Xiao landed and watched as the remaining missiles changed direction and flew on toward their original destination.

A few steps away from him, Hua was holding the dripping pieces of glass. He clenched his teeth and threw the pieces to the ground.

And then, something hit his foot.

"Soy sauce!" He held it out for Xiao to see. "Look, it's soy sauce!"

Doctor's robot watched from behind a rock as Hua grinned and shouted. It contacted Doctor and said, [Why did you help the Heroes out in the end?]

From his workplace, Doctor hesitated, then said, "Seeing them willing to sacrifice their lives all for a bottle of soy sauce, I was... moved..."

Onscreen, he could still hear Hua laughing. "_Soy sauce! __We finally got a bottle of_ _soy sauce!_"

Doctor couldn't help but smile.

* * *

(Zhai Residence, Planet Xing)

Tian stared at them with wide eyes. "_That's_ what happened?"

"Exactly," said Hua as Xiao nodded.

Tian slammed the table. "Is it really that complicated to get a bottle of soy sauce? If you went out to play, then just admit it!" She walked away.

"Why would I go out to play with _him_?" Hua protested.

And although Xiao said nothing, he was thinking the exact same thing.

* * *

**Review please? :D  
**


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